Lit’EDTech Fiesta | 10 | How to raise Emotionally Intelligent kids?

Episode 10 of LitEDTech Fiesta sheds light on the importance of dealing with one’s emotions. Daastan invited Mr. Sabahuddin and Dr. Faryal Razzaq to give their advice on raising emotionally intelligent individuals. Both, Mr. Sabahuddin Waqar and Dr. Faryal Razzaq have extensive experience surrounding emotional intelligence. Touching upon culturally taboo issues, they talk about the importance of vulnerability, expressing one’s emotions and the journey of healing in order to raise empathetic children

Emotional Intelligence

The first misconception cleared by Dr. Razzaq is that emotions cannot be controlled – acceptance should be the goal. “Reactions are in your control, but emotions are not”, she says. In fact, she attributes our emotions to be an intrinsically human experience.

“To be emotional is to be human”.

 An emotionally intelligent child will not be the one who experiences no negative emotions, rather he/she will be able to diffuse the emotions. Thus, reacting in an empathetic manner. Emotionally Intelligent kids understand what they are going through. Hence, they are able to make sense of their circumstances as well as their inner world.

“It is extremely important to note that there is no emotion that is bad, but rather it is our suppression or aggression related to those emotions that harm us and those around us.”

Parents and Children: mirroring of emotions

Moreover, Dr. Razzaq condenses the formula into a phrase; “children are your emotional mirrors”. The projection of a parent’s emotion onto the child is an unintentional but unavoidable event. The solution presented for that is to work on the harmful reactionary patterns that the parents have.

 “If you understand your reaction is wrong, you need to do something”. 

Thus the manner in which parents emotionally handle their kids becomes extremely important. In addition to that, Mr. Waqar used personal experiences in order to fill in Dr. Razaq’s theory. In order to inculcate gratitude within his children, he started consciously practicing it with them. 

Keeping reactions to emotions in check

Both the panelists offer valuable advice for parents to healthily process their emotions. Mr. Waqar introduces the RULER technique which is based on recognizing the emotion, understanding the cause of the emotion, labelling it and diffusing it. He uses this technique with his own children in order to create empathy.  

Dr. Razzaq highlights the importance of meditation and manifestation, especially during the Alpha state that the human mind goes into before going to sleep. She also talks about the role of the child in being respectful and receptive towards the parent. In order to achieve this she emphasizes that “communication is the key”.

Message for Audience

The panelists leave the audience with much to think about as they challenge stereotypes surrounding mental health and blatantly say that it is okay to be sad, upset, envious or even angry. However, what is not okay is for the suppressed emotions to be taken out on the child. Dr. Razzaq advises to heal emotionally.

“The circle of abuse, of generational trauma in the name of parenting, in the name of culture needs to stop”. 

We hope you enjoyed episode 10 of Lit’EDTech Fiesta. Stay tuned for the upcoming episodes.

Noor Hashmi
Noor Hashmi is a student of literature at Numl University. She is an aspiring poetess. She runs a blog by the name of “Diaries of Huda” sharing her journey through poetry. In her free time, she loves to paint and bake.

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